A Ted Tale

One night when the moon was bright on the moonlit bay
That is where I found my little Cherokee maid
The memory of that night of love is lingering yet
And I know I never will forget

My little Cherokee maiden, I love her so
And though we're far apart
I know I'll never be tradin' my love for her
For anybody else's heart
Someday I'll make a trip back to that Cherokee Strip
And I'll carry her away with me
And straight as an arrow flies
We'll ride to paradise
My sweet little chickadee, my little Cherokee maiden and me

"Cherokee Maiden" - written by Cindy Walker & 1st performed by Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys

Confession. This is a post about my sweet Daddy. My dad is quite the music man. He's the ultimate Renaissance guy, a modern day Barbara Mandrell, if you will. Instruments he mastered at one point in his life: guitar, violin, piano, accordion. Heck, he can probably pick out some western swing with a comb and tissue paper. He LOVES Bob Wills. He is my Daddy. He is 90 years old today.

I couldn't pick a song, only an artist. So, I caved and just chose MY favorite Bob Wills song. Western Swing is about as interesting as my father. It's a little folk and a little campfire country and a teence of bluegrass (Bob likes to holler) and a lot of jazz. I have come to appreciate and love it a little more every year, especially Bob Wills, who is, in fact, still the King. But back to my Daddy. What is being 90? It means you were born in 1927. It means you grew up in The Great Depression. It means Uncle Sam beckoned you into WWII. It means hard work and lots of gumption and zero charity and a warm, loving heart. It means Ted Stilwell. I wanted you to know more about him, this nonagenarian who can still cut a mean rug on the dance floor and makes the best vegetable soup you've ever eaten. He's the Ted who just drove a 500 ft motor home (ok, it's 37 feet but it might as well be 500 ft) across town and perfectly parked it in the RV lot. He's the Ted who can outwork and outsmart and out maneuver any other man I've ever met....still.

At the end of the day, I'm just a girl who loves her Daddy more than the world. If you're also a daddy's girl, this is for you. I wrote a letter to my father and tucked it into his birthday card. He'll open it later today. If you read the whole thing, you'll get to see a picture of the most handsome 90 year old man in the history of ever..........


I have something to say to the world. Not me, exactly. Not the almost 50 year old me, but the little girl me wants to tell you something. I feel bad for all of you other little girls. Really bad. You didn’t have my daddy. I wish you would’ve for I know the world would be a much better place simply because we’d all know the most amazing things. What things, you ask? There are so many, but here are my favorite daddy lessons.

·         The world neither promised nor owes you a damn thing. YOU go out and work your tail off every day. YOU put in the time. YOU figure it all out. YOU make your own luck. YOU sow the seeds & reap the benefits. YOU deal with the consequences. YOU give it everything you’ve got and go to sleep every night knowing the world took 200% out of you and dream happy dreams because you are privileged to get up the next day and do it all again.

·         Be humble. You are no better than the worst person and no worse than the best. We all have glorious light in us. We all have terrifying darkness in us. Things that have no bearing on your relationships: race, gender, nationality, wealth, education. Things that forming a relationship with any person should hinge on: their willingness to share a meal with you when there isn’t much to share, the fact that they are first in line to help you when the day is long and the work is dirty, that they are honest, that they are kind even when no one else is watching, that they work hard.

·         Live beneath your means. Live way beneath your means. Watch every dollar. Count every dime. The Great Depression was a hard time to be a child. Remember, hard times make you who you are. Hard times make it easy to tell the good folks from the not so good folks. Without the hard times, how would we appreciate the good times? You can’t feel the highest high unless you’ve felt the lowest low. So save that money for the rainy days and save even more for the torrential downpours.

·         When you say something, anything, have something to say. Don’t complain about any single thing unless you are prepared to give solid advice on a solution. Better yet, just try and say the good things. Those bad things are already looming around in the recesses of our minds. They don’t need a voice. Give the good things a voice. Go in search of sweet words. Make people feel blessed to have spoken to you. The kinder you can make your own words, the sweeter thoughts you’ll think. Suddenly, the world won’t be such a terrible place.

Not every little girl had a daddy like mine. They didn’t get the daddy that grew up in The Great Depression. Their daddies aren’t WWII veterans. Their daddy didn’t make them feel like he’d lay his life on the line for them, dig a 40 ft well by himself so they could have water, show them how to grow all the veggies, show them how to work on cars, accompany their violin playing with an organ, teach them to love Bob Wills. They didn’t get to see their daddies turn 90.

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Where's the Beef?

Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going

Everybody's got a hungry heart
Everybody's got a hungry heart
Lay down your money and you play your part
Everybody's got a hungry heart

"Hungry Heart" - Bruce Springsteen

 I'm rolling my eyes already. You probably don't want to read this because it will probably come off as preachy and that is not my intent. I looked at the tag line for this blog today and it definitely reads as "vintage design . heirloom recipes . merciful stories." I have been sorely lacking both the design front AND the recipe front. But as for that tag line...things that are best described as heirloom: brooches, tomatoes, old dentist tools, the odd corset. Yet, I chose that nomenclature to describe the recipes I would showcase. Oy vey. I meant to give you heirloom recipes, I truly did. My stomach did not agree. Allow me to explain.

More eye rolling. I cannot eat animal protein. Actually, my mother told me to stop saying there are things I cannot do because that could accidentally become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rephrase! I try not to consume animal protein because I wind up in the fetal position for a few days when I do. There! Thanks, 8 years ago chemo. Love you, too. So I'm vegan. Am I the type of vegan that thinks we shouldn't eat animals? Well, I could say yes, but in my heart of hearts I realize I wouldn't be vegan if my stomach hadn't thrown a ginormous hissy fit. I will say that I totally believe no one would eat meat if you could see the average post WWII farm, both the way the animals are housed and the manner in which they are slaughtered. It's disgusting. Still, I occasionally cave. For instance, this past weekend was my daddy's 90th birthday bash! My brother smokes brisket that would make any pit master shake in their shoes. I had to eat it. Ditto with sliced beef pho. Ditto with Boots Burgers in Rockwall, TX. So I simply try to eliminate all but a monthly carnivore experience, making sure it is actually worth a come to Jesus gut apocalypse. What do I do all the other days of the month? I'm veganish. Yep, if it had a face and it is a substance I could eat or if it produces the substance I could eat, I don't. Eat it, that is. (Cue Weird Al Yankovic.) So, if I don't eat animal stuff, what do I eat? Tonight I bring you tacos.....crunchy vegan style.

My kids (they are actually grown ups and they are a married couple with a child, but I will forever call them my kids) came into town a while back. They stayed with us. I decided to experiment and cook a vegan dinner - BTW, my husband is FORCED to eat vegan with me and his cholesterol is so low it deserves a medal. So, I just told the kids there were tacos in the kitchen. My adult son was on his 4th taco before I broke down and told him they were vegan. Yep, that good. I'm about to show you how to make a boat load of vegan "taco meat." Get ready to have a religious experience.

What will you need?

• 1 head of cauliflower
• Several mushrooms (I didn't count them - eye roll. maybe 1/2 of a small cardboard container)
• 1 cup of walnuts (mine were chopped but any consistency will do)
• Seasonings - Cayenne, Chicago Steak Seasoning, Cumin, Chili powder, Garlic powder
• A food processor & a skillet

Rinse your cauliflower thoroughly and chop into florets. Take the stalk and all the other parts of the cauliflower, wrap them in a grocery bag, and take them outside to the trashcan. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY DO NOT PUT THEM IN YOUR KITCHEN TRASH. If you do, the police will show up the next day to do a welfare check and they will assume you're either dead or you murdered someone a week ago. That is how bad the cauliflower will smell by the next morning. Trust me. You will need to separate the florets into 3 batches. We are going to run the cauliflower through the food processor and I haven't found a processor yet that can handle the whole shebang. So process the cauliflower in 1/3 increments until it's the consistency of rice. Dump it all in a mixing bowl. Next, run all of the mushrooms through the processor, also until they are the consistency of rice. Do the same with the walnuts. At this point you should have a HUGE bowl of cauliflower and smaller bowls of both mushrooms and walnuts. Like so......

Odd, yes. But, hang in there. The best is yet to come! Next you'll need a large skillet and approx 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Heat the skillet. Heat the oil. Toss in 2 cups of cauliflower rice and 1 cup each of the mushrooms and the walnuts (probably all of the mushrooms and walnuts. Eye roll - sorry, I don't measure). Put the rest of the cauliflower in a sealed container and refrigerate. You can heat it in a skillet. later in the week, with a little salt and pepper and use it exactly as you would rice! Stir your concoction well and add the seasoning. I even included a picture!

I think I usually start with 2 Tbsp of Chili Powder, 2 Tbsp of Garlic Powder, 1 Tbsp of Steak Seasoning, 1 Tbsp of Cumin, and a liberal dash of Cayenne. After that, just taste. I like extra everything and tend to go heavier on the spicier elements. You do you. Cumin is life. That is all. After you get your seasoning just right, heat at medium, letting the "meat" brown on both sides. Guess what? That's it! You can now have a taco salad, soft tacos, hard tacos....add this to taco soup in place of the meat. You name it. It is delicious. You can now have 2 tacos. Cause, who needs meat? Not me....until next month. Here are two amazing iPhone pictures of the finished product...

Listen, it wasn't a brooch or a tomato, but it is a kick A alternative to animal protein that you'll find to be amazingly meat like both in texture and in flavor. Yes, that plate is sitting on my kitchen island which is really a thrift store desk that I painted to resemble a shipwreck with a mermaid and some koi fish. I'm a little cray, but it's a 99% vegan cray. Your tummy and your cholesterol will thank you. If you made it to the end of this post, drop me a comment. And, I thank you, too! You pretty much rock. GO VEG!