Fear's the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Thought the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
"Get Together" - The Youngbloods
Sometimes you say you're not going to say anything, until you say something. So I'm saying something. While I would love to go on a political rant, I just don't think I'm qualified to spew an opinion. Maybe that's my message? I think it's fine and dandy for anyone who wants to state an opinion to state said opinion. I'm a FIRM believer that you shouldn't stay stuff unless you know stuff. I don't know stuff. So, until that point and time when I can look people in the eyes and say "Y'all, I know stuff"....mums the word, politically and otherwise. But, me being quiet? Never going to happen. While I can't make sense out of nonsense, I can spin a yarn good enough to take your mind off of everything we cannot fathom. Let's do that, shall we?
It's been a rough few months in my world. No, nothing is wrong. No, I'm not sick. No, it's nothing I can put my thumb on. It's just been odd. Weird. I call myself an empath from the standpoint that if you're upset and you run into me one day....I get upset later. I cannot see the future. I don't communicate with spirits. (OK, I do get really weird "signs" sometimes but so does my cousin, Leslie, so it's genetic.) I seem to be really really cognizant of other people's energy and I cling to it until it either elates or hurts me deeply. I constantly have to remind myself, in times of giddiness or despair, that it might not even be me. It just is.
Now, back to the last few months. Kids getting married. Kids living in Houston. Kids fleeing to my house and leaving one behind. Houston flooding. Everyone being ok. My parents moving into an RV park. My parents deciding that wasn't a permanent solution. My parents attempting to buy 271 odd houses (perhaps a slight exaggeration) and none working out. My parents buying a 100 year old house. My living room floor collapsing. Me realizing I'm 50 years old and living in a house with a collapsed living room floor. Kids saying goodbye to a SEVENTEEN year old pet. Local politics. National massacres. Basically, NOT life in general, but when" not life in general" grates against raw nerves, it just feels. There was no proper modifier I could think of, so I ended the sentence at feels. I don't know what else to do. Except talk about cotton.
I don't want to talk about the cotton controversy. I just want to talk about the look, the feel, the fabric of our lives. I do not hail from a prosperous lineage, though I can shoot some $20 words atcha. My great-great grandfather and my great grandfather both died when their flatbed truck stalled on the railroad tracks in rural "around here somewhere" as they were racing the clock to get to the cotton gin. They were taking their cotton to market. They picked it. One died immediately and one died a few days later. Early nineteen tens (ish). Fast forward to today, see me obsessed with cotton. It makes a GORGEOUS arrangement. Have you seen raw cotton in a vintage pewter pitcher? In a mercury glass vase? It's amazing. What's also amazing? IT'S SO EXPENSIVE and I, greatgreatfabulouslygreat granddaughter of the gentlemen who succumbed to a train in rural "somewhere around here" area with their crop, refuse to pay RETAIL for raw cotton.
Member when we talked about my parent's buying a 100 year old house? It's a fixer upper and a half, but it's so beautiful. I love driving out there, like I did today. 40 miles through the Kaufman and then the Ellis County countryside. I drove through Seagoville. I drove through Ferris. I drove until Bristol. I passed gravel pits. I passed junkyards. I passed rural 'Merica. I drove through a metric ton of cotton. I wanted a bouquet. SO MUCH. As Mom and I ventured out to Ennis to go shopping, we drove through even more cotton, that age old cash crop of the south. "I think cotton is beautiful," I said. "So does your father," she said. "He wants to pick some and I won't let him because can you imagine the mess if he was arrested picking someone else's cotton?" I pondered on that for a bit. "Yes, that would be our luck." Mental note to self, do not illegally pick cotton.
We wound up at the Ennis WalMart. Momma and I don't get to shop together all the time, so we make the most of it when we can. Today's escapades included my vegan version of Mexican food which included a margarita for each of us. Then, safely ensconced at WalMart, Momma found the
ginormous mascot heads. So, we tried them all on. Now, politics and cotton and massacres be damned, I watched my mother stand in the Ennis WalMart with a huge cat and a huge T-Rex on her head and thought to myself, "How can the world not be ok?" As we were driving back to Bristol, I had a vision.....
"This is Fox 4 News. Kaufman County Councilman's wife arrested for an agricultural theft in Ellis County. The Ellis County Sheriff's department is seeking public assistance in identifying another person of interest in this case." This is where they would broadcast my Momma's picture captured at the Ennis WalMart. See pictures below.
Moral of the story: the world is spiraling out of control but I distinctly remember my Momma telling me that 40 years ago. Mankind = not the smartest tool in the shed but I think that's always been the case. Is it worse? Heck, yes. Can we fix it? No idea. Should we try? Always.
If you read this, I love you. I don't care what political party you belong to. I don't care where you were born. I don't care what race you are. I don't care what gender you identify with or what religion you profess to champion. I don't care about anything EXCEPT what you think when you fall asleep at night. Do you love other people? Do you worry about your carbon footprint? Does your heart bleed for humanity? Would you break bread with someone when your bread is in short supply? We live on a planet that pivots on a string that is no stronger than a spider web. Hundreds of years ago we thought that string would pop. It has not, nor has it strengthened. Could it be today? Could it be tomorrow? In 100 years? I don't know. Neither do you. Do not fret little ones. It is not ours to know. It is only ours to long for, this life. Appreciate the beauty around you. Cotton is beautiful. So is my Momma. So is this world. So are you. Let's love one another. Right now.
